just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
