Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
