you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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