I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
