I just made out with a guy for $7.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
