i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
