i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
