wakey wakey hands off snakey
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
