Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
