The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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