I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
