What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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