My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
