she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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