with your own penis?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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