Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
