He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
as a side note pls kill me
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
