i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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