Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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