It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
