so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
