this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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