Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
