I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
be right there i have to get my cape
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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