U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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