we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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