I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
