It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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