considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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