Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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