dude i'm inner monologue high
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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