Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
