i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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