Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
