nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
