it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
