And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
