so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
