She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
