you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
