I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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