I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
