State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
