We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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