what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
