Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
