Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
