the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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