Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
