don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
God I need to hump something, right now.
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