Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
