i already hear my dad disowning me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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