i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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