Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
