Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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