the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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