Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?

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(214): View more from Texas

Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on

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(312): View more from Illinois

Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?

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(301): View more from Maryland

remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel

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(919): View more from North Carolina

They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible

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(765): View more from Indiana

Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.

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