is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
