I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
