I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
