well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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