So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize