covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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