the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
