Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I believe in your delicious
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
