I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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