he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
