she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
